I crave to enslave this bitter decaying memory
to the will power of My ‘heart’
to shred it to tiny pieces too small for the eye to see
but blindly resting my hand on it, it slits nd pricks
I beg my mother to open her eyes to me
lend me a lap to cry in, a shoulder to lean on
I beg my father to carry these broken limbs
carry it away to shelter and safety
but these memories are not mine
not ones i’ve lived or survived..
they are not happy nor kind
but i awaken each morning from terrorized nights
eyes closed and restless searching for sleep
her eyes open and she walks towards me
long braided hair, a pretty pink dress
books in her hand but her eyes were red
one look in her eyes and the sun exploded
red everywhere…blood everywhere..
i closed my eyes harder but she was still there
smiling in blood her books torn apart
her dress in shreds i saw all her scars
“somebody help her, is somebody here?!!
she’s bleeding..she’s dying..shes over there..!!”
my body was shaking, my face became wet..
i opened my eyes my mom was above me
arms wrapped around me, “wake up..you’re dreaming”
and she was right, i looked to the ceiling, the red began leaving
Today was his birthday, he stood proudly before his cake
candles were lit, his family surrounded him
presents stacked behind him
He stood there smiling.. lol. he was so cute..just turning two
I moved in closer, he was looking down at his cake
but the second he saw me, he looked up as though scared
confused I just smiled, but then saw the red in his eyes
something was going to happen, i could save them this time
but they were so happy, i didn’t know how to speak
even when i tried they couldn’t hear me say “leave”
as he leaned down to blow out the tiny flickers of joy
his red eyes glowed, and the doors burst open
the flickers stopped glowing before he could blow them
i blinked for a second, and found myself surrounded by army men
it all became red…the walls drenched in blood
their screams deafened my ears…my tears drowned my fears
as i choked on words.
i saw the red before they came
i could have stopped this, my heart it drained
my voice it strained to scream
muscles pained and freezed
“STOP!” i screamed..
my dad he came, “appa take me away”
i awoke this time in his arms
he said i was dreaming, he said they were gone
“he was just two, what did he do..it was his birthday..
didn’t even get the chance to blow out his cake..”
and i sobbed and cried..like it was my own very life
Night after night a new story unravels
in the name of a “dream” my nightmares let me travel
to place i call Home where there is battle
where my bloodties are silenced and slaughtered
tortured and torched
abucted..aborted..raped..slaughtered
shot stabbed bombed choked
sliced and strangled
left with the kiss of death..by men from the government
they are still alive though,
i can still hear see and feel them
even though im countries away from my homeland
I don’t remember sleep anymore..
i forget what peace meant
I close my eyes and just see red
my bed is stone
my heart was blown to pieces the other night..
so now i just watch as the darkness arrives
watch people scream cry and die
My parents are undisturbed now by my sleepless nights
I no longer awake in panic with fright
because now,
I awaken alert. Awaken with anger and rage!
wanting to bring those culprits to their knees
And Im not the only one who cannot sleep
millions of us around the world know what i mean
every morning i know exactly why we chant on the street
their loud screams from the night, whisper through my day
with the dead and alive, we fight for eelam to be freed
So oneday we can all put our nights to sleep and to dream
by : EnnaDa- Kiruthika Thusyanthan
Tags: Poetry/Art
