Written By: Renuka Thayaparan
Last weekend, I went to the park with a few of my cousins. We were all wearing beautiful summer clothes sitting and just chatting when I saw one of my younger cousins, just 6, smiling and told her that she was beautiful. She replied back saying that I was more beautiful than her and that she was cute. At that time, I didn’t really think of it as anything, maybe thought it was just modesty. (You know how when someone gives you a compliment you sometimes feel like you need to give one back). But later, I thought about why she said that, and why she says I am more beautiful than everyone all the time. And it hit me, she said that because I am considered fair-skinned amongst Tamil families, whereas she and our cousins are more dark- toned.
At even a young age, beauty perceptions are formed based on socialized beliefs and ideals of beauty. In Tamil families, fair skinned it equated to beauty, and sadly becomes engrained in the minds of young girls. Other ideals we hold, of thinness and symmetry also become benchmarks young girls use to measure themselves against – often taking extreme measures to reach certain ideals.
We are very much part of the problem. When we first meet a little girl for the first time, we fill her with praises about how cute she is, or how beautiful she looks in her dress. Its an icebreaker we adults use to make small talk with little girls. But doing this reinforces beauty ideologies and gives way too much importance to physical beauty. Our emphasis on beauty as a society is resulting in the increase of eating disorders and a decrease in self esteem in young girls.
Instead of meeting a little girl for the first time and tell her she’s beautiful, maybe we should ask her something about her inner self, something more stimulating and related to her personality. We can maybe instead say, ‘Hi ______, its nice to meet you. Do you like to read/draw/build lego/play soccer/etc? These questions can draw out other parts of a girl that she may be interested in while also giving you an opportunity to praise other parts of her personality. There is so much more to a little girl than a cute dress and a beautiful hair clip, its our responsibility as society to just dig a little bit deeper. 🙂
Tags: Speak Out
